Tuesday, November 4, 2014

The Shame in Shaming Our Children

Posting an embarrassing photo of a child in order to "teach them a lesson" has become the latest internet craze. These photos circulate social media, FaceBook, Twitter, Instagram, and more often than not, local news outlets. For example, the boy who was asked to hold a sign because he made fun autistic children, and more recently a girl whose father found out his 5th grade daughter was dating. The father put ridiculous clothes on her stating "I'm 10" and "I'm in the 5th grade" and took a picture of her and put it on FaceBook. Several commenters commend these parental acts, saying the child deserves it, and it will teach them to "never do it again". But I have a different opinion on the latest form of social ostracizing and it isn't cool.
  I subscribe to several organizations on Facebook that are against corporal punishment and pro positive parenting. I was absolutely stunned today to see the latest form of public shaming posted on the HINTA Facebook page (Hitting is Not The Answer). It is one of the most demoralizing photos I have ever seen and honestly downright degrading. A woman by the name of Kathy Fetterman posted a public picture on her Facebook page on  November 3, 2014 of her daughter's fully shaved head and wrote "Sandra's (name changed) new haircut because she wouldn't brush it and I told her it was going to happen next time she ended up with a rats nest....hopefully this will be a lesson learned...." The picture is worth a thousand words. She looks absolutely distraught that her hair is gone. My heart sank into my chest because there are many emotional ramifications to what this parent just did.
 
  People who think public shaming is an effective method of punishment need to seriously think twice before acting. First and foremost, as a parent, we really should be thinking very hard more about long term effects rather than the short term. In the short term, the child probably will pay attention to threats, but in reality, the parent just became a person the child fears and hates. Ultimately, they will never trust mom or dad again. A parent is supposed to be someone who will protect you, especially when you need them the most. Think about this for a second, your mother shaved off ALL of your hair, and on top of that circulated a photo of this nasty deed on the internet! Not only will your friends, family, and classmates see this, but practically the whole world will see it, if that's not embarrassing enough! And to think that your MOTHER of all people bullied you(because that's what it is). Isn't that what bullies do?
  Emotional abuse is one of those touchy subjects, and unfortunately does not get nearly as much attention as physical abuse. "Children who are constantly ignored, shamed, terrorized or humiliated suffer at least as much, if not more, than if they are physically assaulted." (Danya Glaser 2002).The American Humane Association defines on their website the following on emotional abuse: "Emotional abuse of a child is commonly defined as a pattern of behavior by parents or caregivers that can seriously interfere with a child’s cognitive, emotional, psychological or social development. Emotional abuse of a child — also referred to as psychological maltreatment — can include: Verbally assaulting. This involves constantly belittling, shaming, ridiculing or verbally threatening the child. Terrorizing. Here, the parent or caregiver threatens or bullies the child and creates a climate of fear for the child. Terrorizing can include placing the child or the child’s loved one (such as a sibling, pet or toy) in a dangerous or chaotic situation, or placing rigid or unrealistic expectations on the child with threats of harm if they are not met."
Clearly, public shaming of a child fits the mold for emotional abuse, so why are we doing it? Well, most times the reason why a child is being emotionally abused is because the parents had it done to them. It's a never ending cycle. But the other question, is why have people taken to the internet to publically bully their children? A blogger by the name of Gladstone on www.cracked.com, is also outraged by this practice. In his article titled 3 Reasons You Shouldn't Shame Your Kids on the Internet, he writes, "These public shaming's are nothing more than the attempt of embarrassed parents to wash their hands of their children." And to go along with this sentiment, these parents probably have not tried to find a constructive way to talk to their children. Instead of trying a different parenting tactic, they do something emotionally debilitating and drastic. For example, instead of shaving off the poor little girl's hair, it would have constructive for the mother and daughter pair to have found more manageable hair styles together. But it seems the parents have completely neglected their own parental duties by simply refusing to communicate directly with their children in a positive manner.
  There are several negative results to this type of parenting and punishment. The first consequence is the child no longer trusts the parent. I cannot begin to stress how valuable this is, especially in the teenage years. When the child is depressed, anxious, suicidal, contemplating or using drugs, they may not seek help from you or anyone else. A child also looks to their parents as the one and only people who protect them from harm. In an article by Karyl McBride Ph.D posted on www.psychologytoday.com, titled Shaming Children is Emotional Abuse, she writes "Shaming and humiliating children is emotionally abusive. It is not ok to smack children physically or with words. Young people deserve and are entitled to reach out, attach and bond with their caretakers. It is an expectation that the parent will provide safety, protection, acceptance, understanding and empathy. When this does happen, children grow up knowing their worth and demanding respect from others and themselves."
  So how about additional bullying when the child attends school and the kids are making fun of him or her because of that humiliating picture the parents posted on the internet? And if the child already has a low self esteem or if even they did not, this action either way, is automatically going to sink their self worth. This also teaches the child it is ok to be threatening and vindictive when they do not get their way. It also teaches them its acceptable to embarrass someone if they are not obedient. We are parenting by example right? And the more unfortunate effects of the humiliation come later on when the child is now an adult. Karyle McBride Ph.D also illustrates how this is detrimental in the later years. "When we talk about disrespectful children, we must look at parenting. Solid parenting shows children respect and empathy [....  ....]However, when children are shamed, humiliated and then silenced, it represses the harm that may re-surface later in life. If this happens, it can be in the form of self-destruction or cruelty to others." Several articles on emotional abuse claim the children will then go on to repeating the same patterns of emotional abuse. And lastly, the relationship in the adult years with the parents may be minimal at best. Children lose respect for parents who have emotionally abused them.
  One of the questions in my mind that has been proposed by others who follow me are "Can parents get in trouble for emotionally abusing children? It appears that very to little to almost nothing can be done to stop emotional abuse by authorities. Since emotional abuse does not leave physical marks, it is difficult to prove. In an article by Susan Heitler Ph.D from www.psychologytoday.com titled Verbal Abuse of Children: What Can You Do About It? She explains just how nearly impossible it is to punish these parents. "State protective services are empowered to mobilize when they see visible marks of physical abuse on children's bodies. When the abuse damages instead a child's soul, eroding self-esteem and fostering hatred and fear, protective services generally has no jurisdiction. How totally inadequate are the responses that we as individuals and as a society seem to be able to offer these children!" Heitler also suggests speaking with the parents about the verbal abuse. "Parents who abuse their children tend to be low in insight, and to run from any form of treatment that assumes that insight will be helpful."
Some of the warning signs of emotional abuse according to the American Humane Society are the following:
  • Excessively withdrawn, fearful, or anxious about doing something wrong.
  • Shows extremes in behavior (extremely compliant or extremely demanding; extremely passive or extremely aggressive).
  • Doesn’t seem to be attached to the parent or caregiver.
  • Acts either inappropriately adult (taking care of other children) or inappropriately infantile (rocking, thumb-sucking, throwing tantrums).
  •  It would be advisable in my opinion if someone suspects emotional abuse is to keep a highly documented portfolio of the behaviors that are taking place. Unfortunately, this will rest with most likely with an educator, or daycare provider. And even then it is not guaranteed the evidence will get taken seriously.
       In regards to the poor little girl above, I am truly heartbroken and devastated for her , as this is the worst form of public shaming I have seen. Some of the comments by the girl's mother, friends and family were truly ignorant. Ms. Fetterman, and another commenter states "She likes it". Really?? The picture I witnessed on HINTA's Facebook page did not look like someone who likes this haircut (it has since been taken down). Another commenter stated the little girl could be someone honoring cancer patients. I highly doubt a cancer patient would chose to lose their hair, let alone want their parents to shave it off for them as a punishment. And Ms. Fetterman stated she even "alerted the school" to what she did so her daughter wouldn't have to face humiliation. Hopefully this mother just told on herself. And as far as FaceBook reporting, its a darn joke. I reported this photo (along with a ton of other people who found it disgusting) under the category of humiliating. Apparently Facebook does not believe children have rights and have found nothing wrong with this photo. Fetterman finally decided to make her FaceBook page private.
       My conclusion on shamers: The shamer is also shaming themselves. It shows a lack of control and poor empathetic skills. And its BAD parenting all the way around. So before you click post, consider the short and long term impact. Parenting is teaching, and take every opportunity to make it positive!

    Saturday, April 28, 2012

    Have Hauntings Increased Since the Housing Market Crash?



     Home ownership is one of the most exciting, comforting and rewarding times in our lives. What a perfect time as the prices are at an all time low. You may just get a deal on a foreclosed property that you dream of fixing up and tailoring to your liking. However, the challenge of the home may not be what you expected. The house may have a myriad of obstacles that go beyond just every day home improvement problems, in fact, it may include a resident that is no longer alive.
      It has been a bit odd to me quite a few people I know have reported their houses here in Arizona to be haunted. From reports of footsteps, menacing presences, lights bursting, and disembodied voices, the activity runs the gamut. Coming from New England, I incorrectly thought the reports of hauntings would be quite minimal moving out west. I started brainstorming as to why I have heard about so much activity.
      Losing ones home due to foreclosure is an extremely tragic, sad, and quite frankly negative event. Most of the people who I have talked to either purchased homes that have been on the market quite some time, short sales and foreclosures. I started to wonder if in fact the reason why I feel there have been so many people who have reported their house having activity, actually has something to do with the housing crash. Are houses that have had some serious emotional and negative events subject to negative energy lingering in the air? My colleague, Kris Godinez, who is a licensed professional counselor, author of What's Wrong With Your Dad?, and a former member of West Coast Ghost and Paranormal Society, agrees negative energy can be trapped inside dwellings. "My own personal belief is that buildings can and do absorb energy from the occupants. If there was a lot of stress you can feel it in the air when you walk in" exclaimed Godinez.

      In keeping with the theory of hauntings escalating due to vacant homes, another reason for the haunting may actually be vandals. When these structures are left empty for a long time, it is possible people may be breaking in conducting dark arts. And unfortunately, this can be very hard to prove unless evidence has been left behind. While I will not go into specifics, I have had to help a friend with her house, and I believe it was possible someone fooled around with something not so nice on the property.
      Arizona, as it was also kindly reminded to me by Godinez, was mainly Native American Territory for quite some time. I was a bit naive in thinking there would not be many reports of hauntings. Often, Native burial mounds were "relocated", but essentially the entombment was disturbed, either way. "We don't really know what the land was used for previously and yes it could be ritual use or drug use. Remember when people abuse drugs and alcohol they leave themselves open to energies that they may not want," stated Godinez.
      Some of you are wondering, how can I avoid buying a haunted home? Well, in every state, the laws are different, but most do have to reveal information if a buyer asks. "In California, the Association of Realtors addressed the issue of death disclosure requirements. Civil Code ¤1710.2 states death on a property need not be disclosed if it occurred more than three years prior to the sale. The statute does require disclosure of a death more than three years old if the buyer asks." (Legal Zoom, Susan Funaro 2010). This article also states it can take up to  50% more time to sell a home that has had a murder or a suicide. There are also some states where it is actually necessary to disclose to the buyer if there are any psychologically impacting factors associated with the home.
      Frances Fox, a psychic investigator wrote an online article in October of 2011 called "Haunted Forclosures" explaining how just how imperative it is for the new buyers to "cleanse" the foreclosed home. "A stick of incense once a week or even daily is not enough to detoxify your home of the vibration of financial woes that is invading our lives" stated Fox. Fox discusses in her article that it is extremely important for homes to be physically clean and neat as well, as dirt also is known in the spirit world to attract negative energy. She also advises to "clean up" the psychic debris from friends who are experiencing financial hardships that may be visiting the individuals home.  "If these types of acquaintances and activities are often in your home, then yet again you must pay attention to clearing the spaces of their miseries and their energy" said Fox.
      The best advice I can give to anyone who is buying a home is to use a bit of common sense and intuition. If  there is a hint of a creepy feeling or uneasiness it is most likely for a reason. These feelings are very ancient and evolutionary, therefore valid. We have these feelings for a reason called fight or flight . "Males are more likely to respond to an emergency situation with aggression (fight), while females are more likely to flee (flight), turn to others for help, or attempt to defuse the situation – 'tend and befriend'. During stressful times, a mother is especially likely to show protective responses toward her offspring and affiliate with others for shared social responses to threat."(Wikepedia,http://www.surgeongeneral.gov/library/mentalhealth/chapter4/sec2_1.html)
       Ask yourself, what type of energy am I feeling? Is it good, bad, sad, and unfortunately, evil? If you are experiencing apprehension of the purchase, do your homework! As a buyer, it is allowed to ask if anyone died on the property, or if negative events have occurred. If you are not satisfied with those answers, do a title search, and look into your local town/ city hall for information. Godinez even suggests researching further about former occupants. "What were the most recent occupants like? What was the land used for before there was a house there? Has the building been squatted on? Are there drug users living in the house? From personal experience the house we bought in 2001 had a divorce and there was a lot of angry energy in the house that got moved out with sage burning and prayers."
      If you are one who cannot deal with "activity" I suggest not purchasing or renting a home that potentially carries that kind of energy. It takes a very strong person to stand up to the activity, and it can only be the people living in the dwelling to confront the energy or spirits. I also suggest when there are young children involved, it is better to heed the intuitive warning of uneasy feelings more seriously as to not endanger the child in an emotional and spiritual battle. Always remember no one says you have to live or rent the particular house. And on that note, happy house hunting!
      
       
     
       
        

    Monday, February 20, 2012

    A Letter to Baby Camille


    A letter that I wrote to Camille 2/2/12


    Dear Baby Camille,
      Mommy and Daddy love you very much and we will always show you just how special you are. We plan to treat you with love, support and respect through your whole life. We may not be perfect but we promise to give you the best of everything.
      You will never have to doubt our love for you. We will always encourage your hopes and dreams and also ease your fears. We will also challenge you to your fullest potential and never tell you that you can't do something.
      We will be open and honest with you and get you to see the world from different perspectives. We also will not live our life through you. We love you so much and we will always have your best interests at heart.
      Love,
      Mommy & Daddy

    Children Exposed to A Demonic Haunting






     Speaking in Latin tongues, evil apparitions,  rapping on the walls and strange activity throughout the house may just be a recipe for a demonic haunt. Not only is it the most difficult and dangerous haunting to investigate, it is also one of the most horrifyingly stubborn entities to get rid of.
      Just how does one become an unfortunate victim to a demonic haunting?  Demons do not appear out of nowhere. They have never been human, and this is why they are so hard to get rid of. They do not take kindly to simply "asking it to leave". Some of the ways demons enter our world are through means of divination such as the classic Ouija Board (can be innocent use, not meaning to call an evil entity), and the more devious method of conducting Satanic Rituals. There have been several recorded cases of people moving into a dwelling and not understanding why they are encountering this type of activity, only to find out the previous owners were practicing Satanism. Writings and drawings of Satanic Rituals have been found in bedrooms, closets, basements, attics, etc. And the victim is unsuspecting to the catastrophic activity that has been left in the house.
       The next question I am presented with, how and why does a person get possessed?  There have been several hypotheses to this question. A weak mind, very little to no spiritual beliefs, and possibly not being baptized are some reasons demonic possession is extremely easy. Some may argue about being baptized but there have been correlations to unbaptized individuals and demonic possession (Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limbo) . Also, the Catholic religion by far not only is the most successful in exterminating demons, they have some of the strongest prayers.
      Recently, I watched a show on Animal Planet called The Haunting, which involves people's pets reacting to paranormal activity in the home. The episode was called "Demon House" which featured a family who was facing an obvious demonic haunting. Some of the classic symptoms of these types of hauntings include, and are not limited to, apparitions of dark black masses, shadow dogs, guttural growling noises, scratches, vulgar voices, poltergeist activity (objects moving by themselves in a forceful manner)temperatures becoming hot, a foul odor smelling like sulfur, and apparitions that have black holes for eyes. The family was facing several of these characteristics of a demonic haunt.
      Apparently, this family did their homework, and found their house had a series of tragic events. There was a murder suicide in the early 1900's and they found two cases where the owner faced an untimely death by falling down the stairs. This history should not have been ignored as most likely it was not a coincidence.  Horrific deaths have plagued the house for at least 100 years.
     Like most families facing demonic hauntings, they were at a loss of what to do. The family contacted Enfield Paranormal Society (founded in 2006) based out of Connecticut to conduct an investigation in their home. The group's founder, Matt Kondraki led the investigation. He and his team brought along their EMF meters, DVR camera's and digital voice recorders to capture the evidence. I do not think Kondraki was prepared for the type of entity he and his team encountered.
      One of the most disturbing aspects of this investigation of a potential demonic haunting was Kondraki's failure to realize potential signs of a demonic presence. I was shocked beyond belief that it did not appear as if Kondraki did thorough interviewing with this family or was even familiar with what signs hint at a demonic haunting. His very first and most detrimental mistake was conducting an investigation while the small children were sleeping in their cribs. Apparently, when the team checked in on the childrens' room there was blood all over the walls, floor and crib. Luckily, the children were unharmed.
      There are many reasons not to involve small children to demonic hauntings. One being, it is far too dangerous. A lot of times simply investigating can aggravate an already tumultuous haunting. Kondraki and his team potentially put the children in danger. Besides the blood stained bedroom, Enfield Paranormal experienced temperatures rise, as well as growling noises. In speaking with a colleague of mine, Mike Ricksecker, who is a ghost historian with Oklahoma's Society of the Haunted, as well as author to several books on the paranormal, including Ghosts and Legends of Oklahoma , he also agrees children should not be present during a potential demonic haunting.  "If we're talking a demonic haunting, as that demon is being battled with, it can inflict physical harm on the child or even try to take control of him or her." Ricksecker also stated the only time a child should be present in the investigation is if they are possessed by the demon.
      Kondraki did admit during the episode of The Haunting, he was not familiar with this type of activity. I disapprove of his methods, as I believe he should have reviewed client interviews and examined more closely the potential that this was a demonic haunting. He should have never taken on this case and should have called in a team that could help the family. Ricksecker is in agreement with me on the subject of investigating demons.  "Demons are strong, unpredictable, and even individuals that are trained to deal with demons have problems eradicating them. Investigators that don't have experience with demons should call in someone who does or they're likely to get hurt and make the situation at the location worse," explained Ricksecker.
       The family did end up contacting Bob Baker of Connecticut Paranormal Investigators, who are experienced in demonic hauntings. Baker explained a lot of times families plagued by the demonic entities will go through a few investigation teams before they find one that will actually solve the problems. The team knew right way that they would need a priest in this case. The called in Father Bob Bailey, a Catholic priest out of Pawtucket, Rhode Island, who specializes in eradicating demonic hauntings, to help with the case.
       I am going to go on record stating that this is not my favorite aspect of paranormal research. It terrifies me, but in order to be a seasoned researcher, one has to study this ugly subject in order to become an expert. Knowing the red flags of a demonic haunting can potentially save a family's life. Paranormal investigative teams need to admit when specific hauntings are out of their realm. It is inadvisable to investigate these premises with no experience.Unfortunately, inexperienced groups cannot afford to do what I call "evidence collecting" on these types of cases. The life of the family and the investigators are at risk. Investigators can bring all the fancy pieces of equipment they want but it isn't going to resolve evil spirits. And when it comes to young children, groups need to assess the severity of the hauntings and take it very seriously.

    Sunday, February 19, 2012

    I Am Not What I Do





    Picture this, you're at a party, and there are people there you do not know. So you start talking to one of the guests at this party and the first thing they ask you is "What do you do?" Most of the time I would love to answer in a preposterous response such as "I fly kites for a living."
      I find this question to be one of the rudest and presumptuous questions out there in regards to getting to know someone. It is as if what you do matters and how you measure up or don't measure up in society. I have also found it to be a determinant in whether or not the person would like to be friends. And to be frank, I don't want to "Keep up with the Jones'".
      Some of you may say, well you are insecure about yourself, because why do you care about what others think? And honestly, I don't care about what others think, but I am a little insecure. It hurts when people try to get to know you and they're entertaining the idea of a friendship based upon what you do for a living or what your financial status is. Why is this so important for people to know what I do to pay my bills? My interests in life have nothing to do with what I do for a living. It is pretty low, in my opinion, if you only want to get to know someone based on their socioeconomic status.
      I work for a credit union handling debit card disputes and fraud. It does not pay much money and it certainly not what I had for envisioned for myself for the duration of my life. I went to school for Communications, graduated with my Bachelor's degree in Public Relations, with honors no less. I can remember when I once told my aunt and uncle what my degree was in, they said to me "Why the heck did you get your degree in that? Your not going to find a job in that field and it doesn't make a lot of money."  I am wondering if these comments and others like it are a product of the Baby Boomer generation where wealth was the central focus of life. There were so many careers I wanted to pursue, only to be told "It doesn't make any money", or "Your not smart enough to do that."
      After college, I found myself floating around and very indecisive about what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Like many creative people, I had a hard time zeroing in on what area of creativity I wanted to focus in. I am an artist, a thinker and a dreamer, and that is what I do. I am great at cooking, writing, drawing, painting, photography, sculpture, jewelry making, scrapbooking, etc. It is very hard for me in these areas to focus one one because I am good at so many things in relation to the artistic field.
      The truth is, I do not want to climb a corporate ladder, and be a workaholic. I have no desire to work up to that level; kudos to those that have achieved that goal. I have to go to work because it pays the bills. I have a job that has minimal stress so I can go home to my family and be emotionally present for them. I also feel in my heart there is a cultural shift that is taking place where people are realizing that moving the woman back into the family life is far more important than any paycheck she might bring home.
     Homemaking should be a respectable career. Wanting to stay home with your family should NEVER carry with it a negative stereotype.  Our society sends the message one should have a full time job and be superwoman and raise a family at the same time. My friends who do stay home with their children have also expressed to me when they're asked "what they do?" by an inquiring individual they first meet. They feel forced to answer a distasteful question. It is as if these individuals resent people who stay home because in their mind, people who stay home are not amounting to anything.
      Indecision has been a demon in my life. I have felt inferior because I just couldn't quite "figure it out". I had lost confidence in myself because these continuous tapes of negativity play like a broken record in my mind. So I am not doing "what I want to do" or what you "think I should be doing".  I am faced with this internal question all the time. "What is it that I want to do?" And I keep coming back to the same answer of "I don't know." I don't believe I should even do the same thing for the rest of my life.
       We have to redo the tapes in our mind to say that we are so fortunate to be creative and full of many talents. We need to start telling ourselves "So what if I am not a....fill in the blank." We also need to stop justifying to others on why we have chosen these paths in life. What career we choose does not make us any less of a person. It is not your spirit or soul.  I am not a debit card processor. I am Kathleen Silvia and I chose not to let my choice of career define who I am.

    Saturday, February 18, 2012

    The Boob


    What do babies dream about? In my opinion, they dream about the stars, and a giant moon in the shape of a boob dripping with milk!
      In the first two months of Camille's life, I nursed her with just the boob. I honestly had no clue about breastfeeding even though I took a class on it. I am the type of person who likes to do the research after the fact. When my milk first came in, I had no idea it was supposed to hurt as much as it did, , that it was time consuming to breast feed, and the baby has no idea when it is done feeding (unless they fall asleep at the breast), that your boobs are not yours anymore, and last just how big they really get.
      On the topic of big boobs, I generally have an average size of 34 B so I am not used to having anything larger. What a pain these boobs are, and I remember crying a few times after I had Camille because I just thought these things were such an inconvenience. I thought they looked disgusting, and they were making me uncomfortable especially when I was trying to sleep. I still wonder if I will ever be normal again, and if I will be able to sleep on my stomach without milk leaking out all over the place? I also would like to literally and figuratively like to stop feeling like a cow, hooking up the utters to a machine every four hours.
     Today, I learned the purpose of these delightful body parts, besides something that feeds your baby or gives your significant other something to fool around with. They are part of being a mother in so many ways. I reflected on just how important boobs are in nurturing your baby. And to those of you out there reading my blog, I have nothing against bottle formula feeding. This is just something that I am trying to relate with the breast feeding moms out there.
      A friend of mine at work came into a situation where they became temporary foster parents to a newborn baby. I talked to my friend this week, and asked him how the baby was doing as I hadn't talked to him since my maternity leave. We came on to the subject of how him and his girlfriend had to basically get the newborn out of the habit of looking for a breast when they took custody of him.       
       My heart ached for this baby for so many reasons. I started thinking to myself, "What if I didn't breast feed?" All I could think of is that this baby had lost one of it's biggest comforts in the world. His mother first and foremost, being consoled, being held, and most of all being nurtured. How sad that this was taken away from him at such a critical point in his life. Imagine searching out for an object that was always there when you needed it, and all of the sudden its gone. I wonder if it is like losing a best friend?
      When I hold Camille this way when I was just amazed that I was continuing to give life. Not only did I carry her for almost nine months, but I am continuing to be a huge part of her growth and development. I look into these beautiful eyes when holding her, and I hear her sighs of content while feeding. She even has this look I call "the hungry face" and each time I see it I physically ache. I also emotionally ache because I want to take her hunger pains away. At this point because Camille is only just starting to interact, feeding from the breast is the only way in my head that I can physically show her that I love her. I am not quite convinced she understands what hugs and kisses are yet.
       I feel grateful that I am able to give her not only the food she needs to sustain her life, but also the comfort of letting her know with my body and soul that I am always here for her. Camille is in the phase of getting overly tired, and more often than not she will get into a crying/screaming fit that nothing I can do will calm her down. The only thing that works is putting her on the boob. It takes away her anxiety, and relaxes her to the point of sleep. I feel blessed that I am able to soothe her like this. My thoughts of inconvenience and taking too long have dissipated today.
      The breast has a new meaning for me. It is an integral part in the divine woman, giver of life. It is a necessary tool in what a mother is about. It is a very beautiful way to sacrifice a physical piece of yourself to give to a small and helpless being.
      

    Friday, February 17, 2012

    Is it Really Sleep Paralysis?



    Lately, I have been wondering if it is really valid to be explaining away the "Old Hag" that pays nightly visits to innocent victims during their slumber. Is it really fair discount the thousands of reports of this experience and merely explain that it is sleep paralysis?
      I have been wondering this for several years. Wikepedia has the following definition:

    In addition, the paralysis may be accompanied by terrifying hallucinations (hypnopompic or hypnagogic) and an acute sense of danger.[9] Sleep paralysis is particularly frightening to the individual because of the vividness of such hallucinations.[8] The hallucinatory element to sleep paralysis makes it even more likely
    that someone will interpret the experience as a dream, since completely
    fanciful or dream-like objects may appear in the room alongside one's
    normal vision. Some scientists have proposed this condition as an
    explanation for alien abductions and ghostly encounters.[10] A study by Susan Blackmore and Marcus Cox (the Blackmore-Cox study) of the University of the West of England supports the suggestion that reports of alien abductions are related to sleep paralysis rather than to temporal lobe lability.[1

    A few questions that have been weighing in my mind in my research to this phenomena- Why do millions of people actually report the "Old Hag"? If this is some kind of hallucination, isn't it rather strange that so many people report this? While I do think sleep paralysis is valid, I do not think that you can explain every experience away with this cause. Also, there are documented cases that people have had to have their home exercised because the "Old Hag" was a nightly appearance.

    I am sure some of you are wondering-What do I think the Old Hag is? Personally, I have had an experience, that could be classified as Old Hag. I did not see an Old Hag, but I was in bed, I could not move or talk, and the bed was shaking uncontrollably. I do think that it was an entity that did not want me in the house. I have not had this experience again. It happened once. I would classify this as a spiritual paralysis. I feel that the Old Hag is actually some type of spirit vampire. I believe this is something that wants to suck the life force out of you because it needs energy to do its evil. The Old Hag is not positive. It tries to attack what it thinks to be are weak and vulnerable people, children, and maybe people going through weak times in their lives.